July turned out to be a very significant month, without me knowing that was the case. Let it be a very relaxing trip back home that - once again - made me emotional, or starting EASA at the end of the month, July gifted a hunch of a relationship, uncovered under a layer of a friendship. Still, none of it connected in my mind, and it is merely a reflection of a current me, knowing the future flow of events.
It was that July when I went to my first capoeira event ever, travelled home, and went on a trip to England, which I eventually fell in love with. Long story short, in July I had a proper summer break, that made me reflect on the past academic year:
I must admit: it's been somewhat of a crazy year. It was that kind of a year that if each life domain had to be graded on its fullness, all of them would get at least solid 8/10. Work, studies, friendships, love lessons, art, travelling, sports — everything seemed to be happening simultaneously.
Looking at it from the perspective of one-year-ago me seems almost incredible: in none of the planning exercises of "how do I see myself in a year" could I imagine going to Japan, having an exhibition literally right after, having intense feelings that took me a while to move on, deepening friendships (that I cannot imagine Sibora not living next to me anymore, and Nipun not being around campus all the time). I wouldn't guess that I'd try different sports and fall in love with capoeira — I didn't even know the word until March. I could guess how fulfilled I'd be when being a hand-drawing teaching assistant, but had no clue I'd have the chance to join the Bachelor Revamp group. I probably could not imagine that stopping theater in the beginning of the year would eventually bring me the beautiful novelty of improv, that brings so much joy. Moreover, it would give me the freedom to often disappear in various parts of the world, not worrying about rehearsals.
This reminds me of something my mom told me in May: you never know what kind of wonders that closed door is freeing space for. This is the mantra I keep telling myself, and this year it was surely true. Even though there are things that at times make me slightly melancholic, this year was full of the most life-changing, beautiful and happiest experiences I've had so far, most of which make me grateful and proud. I was both laughing and crying at my fullest, and this is where I set my values: in being brave and true, keeping the passion in all its possible faces, and stand by it.
I look to the upcoming year and have no idea what to expect, and there's no such a PlanApp that could help me imagine it — I believe I will only have to discover. I'm ready for this flow — or I want to think I am — but for others who now completed the chapter of Eindhoven, I wish you fair winds and following seas, wherever you find yourself.
